


50 Rules for Tony Starks

by lonelygirleatsshawarma



Category: Iron Man - Fandom, The Avengers (MARVEL) - Fandom
Genre: A random set of rules for Tony, Gen, No pairing - Freeform, Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 21:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15849687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelygirleatsshawarma/pseuds/lonelygirleatsshawarma
Summary: Sensing the need to tone down the list of Tony’s shenanigans; the whole team agreed to write sets of rules for their resident genius.





	50 Rules for Tony Starks

**Author's Note:**

> Let us all ignore the Civil War and Winter Soldier :)

1.) I am not allowed to use Steve’s shield as frisbee.

2.) Nor am I allowed to use it to play catch with DUM-E.

3.) I am not allowed to go down the first floor of the tower and shout ‘Captain, Captain, let down your hair’ using a microphone.

4.) I am not allowed to say ‘God bless America’ whenever Steve sneezes.

5.) Nor may sing ‘flower gleam and glow let your power shine’ whenever Steve is brushing his hair.

6.) I am not allowed to randomly start a nerf gun fight with random people in the tower.

7.) Nor may offer a one-night date with Captain America as a prize.

8.) I may not ask random blonde people if they are related to Steve Rogers.

9.) Nor may ask people speaking Russian if they are long lost relative of Natasha or Bucky.

10.) I am not allowed to steal Clint’s arrows and install a smoke that smell like a fart every time it hits a target.

11.) Nor may I steal the team’s communication devices and install Dora the explorer OST in it.

12.) Nor may I blast an AC/DC song, instead.

13.) I am not allowed to shout ‘HIDE AND SEEK game commences!’ whenever JARVIS or FRIDAY announced Pepper’s arrival at the penthouse.

14.) I may not use DUM-E as a paper shredder and blame the poor bot whenever Pepper asked if I finally read and signed the contract she brought the other day.

15.) I am not allowed to say ‘Thor’s bigger than yours’ to Steve or Bucky rather (or to anyone) suggestively. Even if I am only referring to Thor’s biceps.

16.) Nor may I do so even if I am not referring to Thor’s muscles.

17.) I am not allowed to ask Clint or Sam if they are laying eggs especially if they are cocooned with blanket during winter season.

18.) Nor may hide toy eggs in their respective seats during movie nights and exclaimed ‘I knew you’re laying eggs!’

19.) Nor may shout ‘Clint, Sam, is this your baby?!’ whenever a bird passes the kitchen window.

20.) I may not ask Bucky if he’s okay to use his metal arm as a walking post-it note board.

22.) Nor may ask him if how many stick-up notes can be placed on his metal arm.

23.) Or even a fridge magnet.

24.) I may not also I ask Bucky if I can polish his metal arm.

25.) Nor may I ask ‘can I do it please?’ with my puppy doe eyes.

26.) I am to answer the phone call with a proper ‘Stark here, to whom am I speaking’ greeting, not a ‘The number you have dialled is cannot be reached. Please never try to call. Ever.’

27.) Especially if the call is coming from Fury.

28.) Or a phone call from Ross.

29.) Nor may allowed DUM-E to answer the call. I must remember that DUM-E can not speak at all.

30.) I am not allowed to create a Stark’s Bots Facebook fan page, just to boast about my ‘amazing’ A.I.s.

31.) Nor may I create an Instagram account for DUM-E.

32.) Or Snap-chat for Butterfingers.

33.) Or YouTube account for U.

34.) Actually, I am banned to use any kind of social media app or site.

35.) I may not bring any of my bots outside the tower in disguise of walking my babies out.

36.) Nor may put them on a customised baby stroller.

37.) Nor may I join a group of mothers or parents talking about their ‘children’ and say ‘my son is like that too!’ even if I am referring to my bots.

38.) Nor may announce to the media that I am a single parent with five amazing kids (DUM-E, Butterfingers, U, JARVIS and FRIDAY)

39.) I am not allowed to do people-watching on the Tower’s rooftop using a binocular just to entertain myself, and say ‘hahaha that idiot walked into a lamp post!’.

40.) I am not allowed to randomly visit my team’s private floor and ask them ‘who do you think is the best sniper? Bucky or Clint?’

41.) Nor may start a competition to find answer to my question. Even if the two subjects are way too willing to go along with my antics.

42.) I may not smash, nor kick the door to enter a room because I think it’s cool to enter that way.

43.) Nor may do so because I want to annoy Fury.

44.) I am not allowed to ask T’Challa if I can adopt his ‘genius’ little sister.

45.) Nor may I ask the same thing to Aunt May.

46.) Nor may ask Aunt May to adopt me instead, because I want to a hot Aunt like her to be my aunt, as well.

47.) I may not scream ‘Sayonara, suckers’ to every enemies we defeated.

48.) Nor may I scream ‘they are blasting off again!’ After intentionally repulsing them in order to ‘blast off’.

49.) Nor may I suggest to the enemies specific day and time to start their villain activities (terrorising the city, etc) just because ‘I have a body massage schedule on Tuesdays, and I have a lunch date with Rhodey and Pepper every Fridays’

50.) I must strictly abide with these rules and I am not allowed to set this paper one fire and then claim to never have received them.  
**.  
.  
.**

Tony feel so offended with these rules. Why is he not allowed to claim his bots as his children?! He created them, and that means he’s more likely to be their ‘mother’.

Ridiculous.

Even Rhodey has signed these offending rules. The traitor.

If this is how they want to play the game of stopping him; then he, Tony Stark, is declaring war.

They have only listed 50 rules, so he still have thousands more antics that he’s allowed to do.

The genius cackled evilly.

Scaring off DUM-E, Butterfingers and U.


End file.
